Stopcrossdressing really stop ? An orbituary

Situs ini adalah merupakan salah satu situs yang kadang-kadang saya kunjungi. Isinya kurang lebih mengenai crossdressing yang setuju atau tidak bisa disebut sebagai suatu kecanduan ataupun kelainan dan cara-cara untuk mengatasinya jika kita memang ingin berhenti atau mungkin sekedar mengurangi kecanduan kita akan crossdressing.

Kemarin ketika saya berniat mengunjungi situs ini ternyata tidak bisa ditemukan dan setelah googling, saya berkesimpulan kalau situs ini sudah ditutup oleh yang punya.

Terakhir kali saya mengunjungi situs ini, saya sempat membaca artikel yang isinya mengatakan kalau ia, yang empunya ingin menutup situs ini. Karena bagaimanapun jika menulis atau memikirkan tentang crossdressing, kita bisa tergoda kembali untuk melakukan hal itu.

Memang sayang melihat situs ini ditutup, karena artikel-artikelnya cukup bermutu dan mungkin juga bermanfaat bagi seorang crossdresser.  Selain itu, situs ini kelihatannya sudah cukup terkenal dan juga dijadikan link oleh situs-situs atau blog-blog lain.

Secara tak sengaja melihat kejadian ini , sebuah situs yang ditutup ketika sedang berjaya seakan mengingatkan kepada suatu pepatah yang mengatakan lebih baik mundur ketika masih sukses daripada mundur setelah tidak sukses atau gagal.  Dalam bahasa Jawa ada pepatah yang berbunyi “lengser keprabon mandeg pandito”.  Dari abu kembali menjadi abu, dari debu kembali menjadi debu. Sampai jumpa lagi Jared !

English

This site is one of the sites that I visit occasionally. The content is about crossdressing that agree or not can be referred to as an addiction or disorder and the ways to overcome it if we really want to quit or maybe just reducing our addiction to crossdressing.

Yesterday when I intend to visit this site,  it can not be found and after googling, I concluded that the site had been closed by the owner.

The last time I visited this site, I had read an article that it says that he, the owner wanted to close this site. Because after all,  if writing or thinking about crossdressing, we could be tempted back to do that.

It’s a shame to see this site shut down, because the articles are in quite good quality and may also be useful for a crossdresser. Beside that, the site looks already quite well known and linked by the other sites  or blogs.

Accidentally saw this scene, a site which is closed while it is succesful  as if remind us  of an adage that says  it’s better retreat while succesful than retreat after unsuccessful. In Javanese language there is a proverb that says “resign from empire, stop as reverend”. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  See you again Jared !

Festival kuil / Temple festival

Begitu melihat dan tahu festival ini di acara Suka-suka Kompastv, saya langsung terkejut. Ternyata acara yang berlangsung di India ini diikuti oleh para pria yang berdandan persis seperti perempuan India dengan sari dan makeupnya. Dandanan dan pakaian merekapun tidak asal-asalan saja, tapi betul-betul rapi dan sempurna seperti layaknya kalau seorang pria di makeover oleh ahli kecantikan. Hingga menjelma menjadi wanita sempurna. Mereka pun tidak ada yang senyum-senyum atau tertawa-tawa  karena geli dengan pakaian dan dandanan mereka sendiri. Ataupun saling mengejek satu sama lain. Tapi layaknya sebuah upacara ritual agama, semua dan segala sesuatunya berlangsung dengan tertib dan khidmat.

Tujuannya adalah untuk memenuhi nazar dan menyenangkan dewi. Prinsipnya adalah kalau dewi yang disembah bahagia, maka ia akan meluluskan permintaan kita. Jadi acara ini mestinya berlangsung secara sakral. Tapi komentar pembawa acaranya lain. Begitu mulai ditayangkan langsung berkomentar kalau ini bukan di Taman Lawang. Untuk diketahui bahwa Taman Lawang adalah nama sebuah tempat prostitusi untuk waria di Jakarta. Kemudian masih ditambah kalau selain bisa membahagiakan dewi juga bisa memenuhi hasrat dan keinginan sendiri.

English

One look and knew this festival in Suka-suka KompasTV event, I was immediately shocked. It turns out that the event took place in India is followed by the men who dress exactly like the Indian women with saree and  their makeup. Their dress and clothing also do not perfunctory, but really neat and perfect like when a man in a makeover by beauty experts. Until transformed into a perfect woman. None of them  smiles or laughs because it amused with their own clothes and makeup. Or teasing each other. But like a religious ritual, all and everything takes place in an orderly and solemn.

The goal is to fulfill their vows  and to please the goddess. The principle is if the Goddess who we worship happy, then she will pass our request. So this event should occured  sacred. But the host’s comments are different. When began airing immediately commented that this was not at Taman Lawang.  Please be aware that Taman Lawang is the name of a place of prostitution for transvestites in Jakarta. Then they added that beside it can pleases their goddess, they can also fulfill their own desires and wishes.

Programming crossdressing

do {

if  your face not wear any makeup {

put on makeup ;

}

if   you are still wearing a man’s dress {

undress ;

pick a woman’s dress ;

wear it ;

}

if  your feet are still not wearing a woman’s shoes {

pick a woman’s shoes ;

put it on your feet ;

}

if your hair doesn’t support your appearance {

put on a wig on your head ;

}

} while not completed

do {

express your self in front of a mirror ;

try to talk like a woman ;

try to behave like a woman ;

try to walk like a woman ;

} while not getting bored

if want more challenge {

going out ;

}

if want more satisfaction {

seek dating friend or masturbating;

}

Mr Bean’s first crossdressing out

Mr Bean is a television film series that is very popular. Especially to the people who likes comedy. The actor’s name is Rowan Atkinson. He also played in cinema movies .

But do you know that he once tried to do crossdressing in his television film series ? In the video above you can see he tried to do crossdressing in a laundry by wearing a maxi skirt.

Actually he did it  incidentally. He  took the wrong piece after he put of his own pants, because he took it without seeing it. Unfortunately, a man was there  near him. So he tried to walk with legs so close to each other. With  purpose to camouflage that he wore a maxi skirt instead of wearing  a pant.

Unfortunately again, the man who near him suspected him, because of the movement that Mr Bean did is  strange. So after Mr Bean sat, the man revealed the bottom ending of maxi skirt that Mr Bean wore. Alas ! And the man smiled and blinked one of his eyes to Mr Bean. Mr Bean got chills  with the way the man looked at him. Not to mention his deed with stepping the underwear that Mr Bean tried to wear.

Truly a terrible experience he had to face. So, next time if you try to crossdress out again please consider the situation and the condition also the place where you try to crossdress out.

Help!

If in my earlier posting I discussed about an ending that can be met in crossdressing habit and also the development of this habit. So in this article I want to discuss what we are going to say if someone who does crossdressing ask us an advice about how should someone do about this habit ?

First,  if someone  ( he ) asks us an advice about something usually he wants to get an opinion that can solve his problem or to get a better way about something that he asks. So did with crossdressing habit that he asks us. Here, the problem begins. Problem of what advice  should we give to him. Because there’s more than one alternative advice that we can give him.

The first case, a young crossdresser asks us an advice about crossdressing. He’s a beginner crossdresser. He crossdress only with wearing woman dress. Not using woman shoes, accessories, makeup and wig. What advice should we give to him ? Push and support him to do crossdressing more perfectly ? Suggest him to use woman shoes, accessories, makeup and wig ? Because by that way, he may look so perfectly as a woman or at least more perfect. Moreover, he already crossdressed. Even he’s just a beginner. So, what else ? Already get wet, why don’t  bathe too ? That is what we may suggest if we consider crossdressing as a positive hobby and not a deviant behaviour that needs to be corrected.

But if we consider crossdressing as a deviant behaviour, maybe we may give him different advice. Such as divert your energy into other positive activities and so with your spare time, instead of doing crossdressing. If he is someone who believes, maybe we also remind him to  approach himself to God. This advice looks like more difficult to be said and to be given than the first advice like  at the earlier paragraph. Because he can say that we are hypocrite. Advise the other to decrease or leave this habit, but we ourselves do this habit too. Though we all know that nobody in the world is perfect. In Java, we say  “Gajah diblangkoni. Iso kotbah, orak iso nglakoni”. In English, it means “Elephant is given headcloth. Can preach, but can not do it”.

More difficult case is if he is someone who is an activist of a religion, but he still does crossdressing. And according to him and the religion in  his understanding, crossdressing  does not conflict with his beliefs. But he asks us an advice about his crossdressing habit. What advice that we can give ? Moreover if he is an activist of a religion and if in this case,  we are less obeyed  in  religion than him. This situation is similar to a Javanese proverb that says “kebo nusu gudel”. In English, it means “buffalo breast fed from its child”.

Happy ending

At the end they married and live happily ever after. It’s a famous sentence that is usually ending a fairy tale. When I was a kid, I still remembered that I often read many comic books from the famous Hans Christian Andersen.

Habit can be a hobby if someone likes that habit. And a hobby can be someone job. If someone has or do a job that’s also the hobby of this someone, it can be said that this someone is happy. Because someone can work with happy. And also not under pressure. So that someone  could devote all  energy and thoughts without feeling forced.

What about a habit that called as crossdressing ? This habit can be also called as hobby to some people. Although for other people, this habit can be called as deviant behaviour that needs to be corrected. Even for some people who did this habit, they also can consider it as a deviant behaviour that needs to be corrected. While for the others who also did this habit, they can consider it as a hobby that doesn’t need to be corrected. But it even also needs to be improved.

Just like a hobby, then crossdressing can develop too. Maybe for the first time when doing crossdressing, we only used woman dress. Then we began to use woman shoes and accessories. Then finally we used makeup and wig too. Thus, at last we perfected this habit with  things that actually belong to woman from hair to toe.

Side effect of crossdressing that  perfected, someone can change  the gender orientation. A funny thing about this is I ever read a comment in a social network  that someone said “great, you’re now a transgender !” to a person  who used to be a crossdresser only. Though not certainly that someone has changed the gender orientation. Maybe someone has looked so perfectly as a woman, but in him self, he still feels as a real  man. Remember an Indonesian proverb that says “dalam laut dapat diduga, dalam hati siapa tahu”. In English, it means “the depth of the sea can be guessed, in heart who knows”.

The reverse case of above is that someone said “Be careful, don’t go any further ! You may become a woman” to a person who crossdress so perfectly. Like a friend of mine told that to me.

But if a person  just does crossdressing in a simple way like just wear a woman dress but without using a woman shoes and makeup, someone else may tempt this person to perfect his crossdressing with a woman shoes and makeup.

But the other way around, crossdressing just like a hobby can end too. I ever read some blogs about someone who succeeded to stop crossdressing.

As the end of this article, I like you to participate in my polling below.