Today I get a comment says that to be the best of ourselves, sometimes mean rejecting certain parts of myself, and certain desires, such as my natural desire to only please myself and not others. And we shouldn’t just give in to whatever natural desires we have. Some need to be resisted. That comment relates to my situation right now. Being a crossdresser, but also want to be God’s people. A dualism in me. A controversy that invites pros and contras. Before that the commentator suggested me to keep praying and reading the holy book.
I reply with a comment “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” A quote from a book. Even Jesus himself had to fight against his own will right away before his suffering and death in the garden of Gethsemane. He said that he was deeply grieved, even to death and his sweat became blood.
For me that situation looks like a weekend at home that always be a place where the struggle against my own lust, my natural desire to do crossdressing occurs. But it almost alywas ends up with failure. What a shame ! It seems that my faith has not grown yet.