It was Saturday afternoon 7th January 2012 and the rain fell continuously. In accordance with the seasons namely the rainy season. It is my habit to go to church every Saturday afternoon. But this afternoon I doubted and felt a little lazy to go, because of the rain. Then the devil inside me seduced me and whispered to me to stay at home and spend the time with doing crossdressing. Beside the weather was cold. So I could warm and satisfy my self with my own desire and lust. Be an attractive woman who attracts my own self. Watched my self in the mirror and examined my whole body inch by inch. Feel the pleasure and satisfaction. Doing hot and sensual scenes until masturbated. Just like the old times.
But my logic thought if I didn’t go to church this afternoon, then my opportunity was only on Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. What if tomorrow rained too ? At last I decided to go.
Arrived there, the church was not filled with so much congregation. Even the priest himself said that just because of the rain, the congregations who’s coming into the church less than usual. What if solar blast happens ?
Not as usual that I could not concentrate on listening and following the ceremony and the sermon, this afternoon I could concentrate.
The priest in the sermon among other explained the experience during his study. When he was asked by his mentor, how we humans can trust and have faith in God ? Because of nervous and afraid, he answered spontaneously that he doesn’t know. But the answer was correct. I think to my self that it was a grace from God that human can trust and have faith in God. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” ( Ephesians 2:8 )
He continued that in the inability and helplessness of humans, God approached humans. God does not always approach or show himself to humans in spectracular and sensational way. When we still don’t understand, God is present. The content of sermon really touched me. Because I am only a simple man who doesn’t know anything about God and Theology. My heart felt calm, peaceful and cool this afternoon.
Thanks God for this beautiful sermon. Come rain or come shine. I will try to keep coming to Your house. But please help me strengthen my faith.”Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” ( Psalm 84:10 )