Tag Archive | Kraftwerk

The Model

Artikel ini saya tulis dalam 2 bahasa. Inggeris dan Indonesia. I write this article in 2 languages. English and Indonesian.

Some time ago I  idly searched at the Youtube video of this song. And it was there. The video attracts me, because the title is “The Model” but it contains android or robot  beside some models too and the second is the music itself, it was techno.  And so I begin to think how to insert it in my posting. Until today I got an idea.

I became a crossdresser since I was a kid. And from the beginning, the woman dress that I wear is always a Javanese traditional costume called kain kebaya. The blouse that called kebaya usually is a tight blouse  and the  skirt is originally a cloth that wrapped around the legs tightly to shape up our body. Lately, the skirt is modified, not a cloth with a pleat in the front anymore, but it was been sewn into a skirt that is used by entering it from our feet and raised to our body. So we don’t need to wear it by wrapping it around  our legs so tightly and arrange it so the end with a pleat can  fall in front to the right a bit. But I like the original version of the skirt that is still a cloth with pleats at the end. I began to wear mini skirt and other modern dress just about last year.

With that Javanese traditional dress in my opinion I do not need a lot of style, except try to act slow in any activities. When standing, walking, sitting and so on. Because Javanese aristocrate woman in my observation is always acting  slow to gain an impression of graceful, elegance and dignity.

Yes, I need to act like a woman and I must study about woman gesture. I must study how a Javanese woman especially an aristocrate Javanese woman acts when she is wearing traditional costume. Always be slow and careful when doing anything. Even there’s a risk to fall when we walk with such tight dress.

But in my opinion it’s easier than when I wear a mini skirt or any modern dress. Because our steps are not hindered by our long narrow skirt and so we have to arrange it. How wide we must step. How we have to shake our hips to get rhytmic. How is the position of our hands when we walk. How is the position of our legs and hands when we stand  and so on. There are also many alternatives of style that we can choose. Understated, elegant, graceful, flirtatious, vivacious, mischievous, spirited, sporty, sloppy and so on. Maybe my opinion is wrong, because I was more familiar with Javanese traditional costume since I began doing crossdressing.

Not to mention how we must learn to act like the model when we are about to be taken our picture. How we must arrange our face, our smile, our body language. My favourite poses are kissing bye and praying hands.

Bahasa Indonesia.

Beberapa waktu lalu saya iseng-iseng mencari di Youtube video dari lagu ini. Dan itu ada di sana. Video itu menarik saya, karena judulnya adalah “Model” tapi berisi android atau robot di samping beberapa model juga dan yang kedua adalah musiknya  sendiri, yang adalah techno. Maka, saya mulai berpikir bagaimana untuk memasukkannya di posting saya. Sampai hari ini akhirnya saya mendapat ide.

Saya menjadi crossdresser sejak saya masih kecil. Dan dari awal, gaun wanita yang selalu saya pakai adalah busana adat tradisional Jawa yang disebut kain kebaya. Blus yang disebut kebaya biasanya adalah blus ketat dan bawahannya  aslinya adalah  sebuah kain yang melilit kaki ketat untuk membentuk tubuh kita. Tapi akhir-akhir ini, sudah  berubah, bukan kain dengan wiru di bagian depan lagi, tapi  telah dijahit menjadi rok yang digunakan dengan memasukkannya dari kaki kita dan dinaikkan ke tubuh kita. Jadi kita tidak perlu memakainya dengan melingkarkannya sekitar kaki kita begitu erat dan mengaturnya sehingga akhir dengan wiru bisa jatuh di depan  sedikit ke kanan. Tapi saya suka versi asli bawahan yang masih kain dengan lipatan di akhir. Saya mulai memakai rok mini dan gaun modern lainnya hanya sekitar satu tahun lalu.

Dengan pakaian tradisional Jawa menurut saya, saya tidak perlu banyak gaya, kecuali mencoba untuk bertindak lambat dalam setiap kegiatan. Ketika berdiri, berjalan, duduk dan sebagainya. Karena  perempuan ningrat Jawa dalam pengamatan saya selalu bertindak lambat untuk mendapatkan kesan anggun, elegan dan berwibawa.

Ya, saya harus bertindak seperti seorang wanita dan saya harus mempelajari tentang gerakan perempuan. Saya harus mempelajari bagaimana seorang perempuan Jawa terutama seorang wanita Jawa ningrat bertindak saat dia memakai busana adat tradisional. Selalu  lambat dan hati-hati ketika melakukan sesuatu. Bahkan ada risiko jatuh saat kita berjalan dengan bawahan seketat itu.

Tapi menurut saya itu lebih mudah daripada ketika saya mengenakan rok mini atau gaun modern. Karena langkah kita tidak terhalang oleh bawahan panjang yang sempit,  jadi kita harus mengaturnya. Seberapa lebar kita harus melangkah. Bagaimana kita harus menggoyang pinggul kita supaya berirama. Bagaimana posisi tangan kita ketika kita berjalan. Bagaimana posisi kaki dan tangan saat kita berdiri dan sebagainya.Ada juga alternatif banyak gaya yang bisa kita pilih. Bersahaja, elegan, anggun, genit, lincah, nakal, bersemangat, sporty, urakan dan sebagainya. Mungkin pendapat saya salah, karena saya lebih akrab dengan busana adat tradisional Jawa sejak saya mulai melakukan crossdressing.

Belum lagi bagaimana kita harus belajar untuk bertindak seperti model ketika kita hendak diambil gambarnya. Bagaimana kita harus mengatur wajah kita, senyum kita, bahasa tubuh kita. Pose favorit saya adalah kiss bye  dan posisi tangan berdoa.

Numbers, computer world

Cannot be denied, nowadays all areas of life have been using  computer. Computerized. Ranging from entertainment, educational, social, business to religion has been using computer. We can even listen to sermons via internet. Wanna calculate ? It’s a piece of cake. It even doesn’t need a computer to do it.  Just need a calculator. A very simple model of computer.  Let alone to count,  computer can also make artificial intelligence applications that are replicas of the human brain,  So, want to calculate how much 70 times 7 ? It must be 490.  No doubt about it.

Now, back in our business. Dirty business. Crossdressing. God says ” A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this. ” ( Deuteronomy 22:5 ). Our habit seems to displease Him. In other word, we have sinned. Then we must ask forgiveness of God. We maybe ask until how many times He forgive us ? God says 70 times 7, when Peter asked Him  ( Matthew 18:22 ). As we calculated above, the result of 70 times 7 is 490. You can try it yourself if you don’t believe it.

Now in my own case, I do crossdressing almost every weekend. 1 year is 365 days,  1 year has 52 weeks. 490 divided by 52 is about 9.42.  So if I do crossdressing every weekend until 10 years or more , will my sins still be forgiven by God ? Because the result is over than 490.

Why He doesn’t say 7 divided by 0 ? Because the result surely be uncountable. But who am I to give Him advice ? ( Isaiah 40:13 ). Not a priest or rabbi or a monk, not even a religious man. I’m just a crossdresser only.  Does God ever say  wrong ? I don’t believe it. The most plausible reason is it all just metaphorical. Beside Peter who asked Him is a humble man, a fisherman.

And the most important thing is we must fight against whatever that displease Him. The question is : can I fight my own desire to do crossdressing ? I don’t know, I’m not sure. May God give me strength to fight it.