Tag Archive | sissy

Dapur Nicky

Kemarin pagi waktu aku lihat acara ini dikantor, seperti biasanya teman kerja cewek yang duduk disebelahku juga ikut nonton. Tapi tiba-tiba dia bilang gini pada teman kerja cowok yang seruangan dengan kami, “kalau kamu punya menantu laki yang pintar masak, bagaimana ?”. Lalu teman kerja cowokku menjawab begini, “Ya tidak apa-apa, asal menghasilkan.  Koki yang cowok kan banyak juga. Justru di restoran-restoran kebanyakan kokinya cowok”.

Kemudian teman kerja cewek yang duduk disebelahku menceritakan permasalahannya mengapa dia bertanya seperti itu. Ternyata anak perempuannya sedang dekat dengan cowok yang hobby masak.  Menurut anggapan dia, cowok yang suka masak bagaiamana pun akan kelihatan seperti banci. Teman kerja cewek itu adalah orang yang aku ceritakan di posting “someone else’s problem” Dia punya teman karib cewek tapi jadi seorang transgender cowok. Ternyata pandangannya tentang pekerjaan koki bagi seorang pria masih konvensional juga, kalau tidak bisa dibilang kolot.


Yesterday morning when I saw this show at the office, as usual a female coworker who sat beside me also watching. But suddenly she said this to a male  co-worker who also  in the same room with us, “how if you have a son in law who is good in  cook ?”. Then my male  coworker answered, “Well that’s okay, as long as it makes money.  Many  Chefs are  male too. In many  restaurants,  most of the chefs are male”.

Then my female coworker who sat next to me  told the problem why she asked that. In fact  her daughter was close to a guy who has a cooking hobby. She assumed, a male who likes to cook however will look like a sissy. That female coworker is the one who I told in the post “someone else’s problem” . She has a  best friend, a girl but turns to be a transgender guy. In fact,  her views on the work of a chef for a man still conventional as well, if not exactly conservative.

Shy boy

Since I was a kid, I was a shy boy until became a teenager. Maybe until now I am still a shy girl and I am a closed person.

When I was in elementary school, there was a custom where the teachers arranged the seats of their pupils. And when it done, it applied in a year. Thus the pupils can not sit wherever they like. And one thing that is funny, a male pupil always gets a female pupil as his sit mate at the same table. I don’t know the reason why the teachers applied this custom. Maybe by this way a male pupil can not make or reduces the possibility to make a fuss and noise during  the class because his sit mate is a female pupil.

I still remember when in certain years  I was seated with a beautiful female pupil. It happened to me at least twice or two year. By that time I already could judge whether if a girl is beautiful or not. But it  can be said that I always or almost silent, never talk to my sit mate or begin to open a conversation. My female sit mate was always the one who started talking to me.

There was an event that made me shy. My female teacher made a joke of me by matching me with a beautiful female pupil who was my sit mate. She said it in front of my late parents and my older sister at my home when she visited us.

Not only in school I was shy, but at home as well. When the relatives of my mother came to visit my family at home, I usually hid in my bedroom and pretended to sleep. Sometimes the relatives of my mother entered my bed room and teased me. Sometimes they teased me until I cried. And when they went, sometimes my late mother said to me “Shy boy !”. But however she was a wise mother to me, she never called me sissy. But the other way around, she always encouraged me so I didn’t do this again when my relatives came to my home.

When I became a teenager, my school friends at junior high school began to know love. Maybe puppy love. A male pupil began to make a close relation with a female pupil. And they were ridiculed by the other. And I never have a courage to approach a female friend, but only ridiculed by the other by matching me with a female school friend. By that time I still felt embarrassed, but I also felt happy if they matched me incidentally with a girl who I like. That time, a female friend of my older sister even teased me though she was joking, but I couldn’t give her a respond.

It continued until I was in senior high school. My female teacher also made a joke of me by matching me with a beautiful female pupil. Even my male teacher tried to match me with a beautiful female pupil as well. Maybe they knew that I was too shy.

At last when I was in college, I tried to make a close relationship with my female college friend. But when I was trying hard to work it out, she dropped out from the college. Pity me. 😦


This article is  written in 2 languages : English and Indonesian. Artikel ini ditulis dalam 2 bahasa : Inggris dan Bahasa Indonesia.


When I play a video of AC/DC titled “Highway To Hell”, my female coworker who sits next to me said “AC/DC ?, sissy !”. For you who are not from Indonesia maybe don’t understand the relationship between AC/DC and sissy. In Indonesia, AC/DC can mean sissy as well.

It began with a late Indonesian male comedian who always acted as a female. His stage name was Kardjo ACDC. He was so popular from 1970s until 1980s. The logic why he added ACDC to his name, because like an electronic appliance which can be used with electric ( AC / Alternating Current ) or battery ( DC / Direct Current ). So does he, he also can be used as a man or a  woman. He can played with a man or a woman.

I  think he was the pioneer of  Indonesian male comedian who played as woman. After him, there are several Indonesian male comedians who played as women. Tesy Srimulat, Susi Naryo, Ester. Then come the newer generation, a comedian who also a presenter like Olga Syahputra.

Beside that, in Indonesia especially in East Java there’s a traditional art namely “ludruk”. It’s almost like a comedy  teatre but all the players are male. So if the story needs a female character, a male player acts as a female character. Not only that, usually they have a specialization. A player with feminim face usually always plays as a female.

I am curious, wonder and want to know what would  my female coworker  say if she looked at this video of “Sweet Funny Adams” titled “AC/DC”. 🙂


Ketika saya memutar video dari AC / DC yang berjudul “Highway To Hell”, rekan kerja wanita saya yang duduk di sebelah saya mengatakan “AC / DC ?, banci !”. Untuk anda yang tidak dari Indonesia mungkin tidak memahami hubungan antara AC / DC dan banci. Di Indonesia, AC / DC dapat berarti banci juga.

Ini dimulai dengan  komedian Indonesia  pria yang sudah meninggal yang selalu bertindak sebagai perempuan. Nama panggungnya adalah Kardjo ACDC. Dia begitu populer dari 1970-an sampai 1980-an. Logika mengapa ia menambahkan ACDC pada namanya, karena seperti alat elektronik yang dapat digunakan dengan listrik (AC / Alternating Current) atau baterai (DC / Direct Current). Jadi demikian juga dia bisa digunakan sebagai pria atau wanita. Dia bisa bermain dengan pria atau wanita.

Saya pikir dia adalah pelopor komedian pria Indonesia yang bermain sebagai perempuan. Setelah dia, ada beberapa komedian pria Indonesia yang bermain sebagai perempuan. Tesy Srimulat, Susi Naryo, Ester. Kemudian datang generasi lebih baru, seorang komedian yang juga presenter seperti Olga Syahputra.

Selain itu, di Indonesia khususnya di Jawa Timur ada seni tradisional yaitu “ludruk”. Ini hampir seperti sebuah teatre komedi tapi semua pemainnya adalah pria. Jadi jika ceritanya membutuhkan karakter perempuan, maka pemain laki-laki bertindak sebagai karakter perempuan. Tidak hanya itu, biasanya mereka memiliki spesialisasi. Seorang pemain dengan wajah feminim biasanya selalu bermain sebagai perempuan.

Saya penasaran apa yang akan rekan kerja wanita saya katakan jika dia melihat video dari “Sweet Funny Adams” ini yang berjudul “AC/DC”. 🙂


This article is written in 2 languages : English and Indonesian. Artikel ini ditulis dalam 2 bahasa : Inggris dan Bahasa Indonesia.


Some days ago I read about this on my friend’s blog. So I like to tell about my own experience about it. My feelings and thoughts that come right after my crossdressing.

My crossdressing  has been happened to me for decades. It happened to me gradually a little by a little. First I crossdressed with blanket that I wrapped around my waist like a Javanese traditional woman wearing their traditional batik cloth. Then I used batik cloth. After that I began to complete my crossdressing costume with traditional Javanese blouse called kebaya. That time I always ended my crossdressing with masturbation and I feel the same as my friend said in that posting. Guilt, shame, disgust, and feeling dirty come after crossdressing and becomes a weird looking man in a dress.

But after I perfect my crossdressing with makeup that consisted of powder, lipstick, false eyelashes, eyebrow pencil, mascara, eye shadow and wig. I feel different. I don’t feel shame, disgust, and feeling dirty come after crossdressing and not  becomes a weird looking man in a dress. Sometimes I even don’t clean my makeup after I finished my crossdressing, but I just change my dress into my normal ordinary male dress. By that time sometimes I still look my self in the mirror and feel that I still look like a girl or a woman. Sometimes I feel reluctantly to clean up my makeup. I want to enjoy my face as a girl in the mirror as long as it can after the masturbation. So I let my makeup fades and almost disappeared, then I clean up the rest.

Bahasa Indonesia

Beberapa hari yang lalu saya membaca tentang ini di blog teman saya. Jadi saya ingin bercerita tentang pengalaman saya sendiri tentang hal itu. Perasaan dan pikiran saya yang datang tepat setelah crossdressing.

Crossdressing  telah terjadi pada saya selama beberapa dekade. Itu terjadi pada saya secara bertahap sedikit demi sedikit. Pertama saya crossdressed dengan selimut yang saya lilit di pinggang seperti wanita tradisional Jawa memakai kain batik tradisional mereka. Kemudian saya menggunakan kain batik. Setelah itu saya mulai melengkapi pakaian crossdressing saya dengan blus tradisional Jawa yang disebut kebaya. Waktu itu saya selalu mengakhiri crossdressing saya dengan masturbasi dan saya merasa sama dengan teman saya seperti dalam postingnya. Rasa bersalah, malu, jijik, dan merasa kotor datang setelah crossdressing dan menjadi seorang pria dengan wajah aneh dengan  gaun wanita.

Tapi setelah saya menyempurnakan crossdressing saya dengan make up yang terdiri dari bedak, lipstik, bulu mata palsu, pensil alis, maskara, eye shadow dan wig. Saya merasa berbeda. Saya tidak merasa malu, jijik, dan merasa kotor  setelah crossdressing dan tidak menjadi seorang pria dengan wajah aneh dengan gaun wanita. Kadang-kadang saya bahkan tidak membersihkan make up saya setelah saya selesai crossdressing, tapi saya hanya berganti pakaian dengan pakaian normal laki-laki saya. Pada saat itu kadang-kadang saya masih melihat diri saya di cermin dan merasa bahwa saya masih terlihat seperti seorang gadis atau wanita. Kadang-kadang saya merasa enggan untuk membersihkan make up saya. Saya ingin menikmati wajah saya sebagai gadis di cermin selama itu mungkin setelah masturbasi. Jadi saya biarkan riasan saya memudar dan hampir hilang, baru saya bersihkan sisanya.

Sweet Dreams

Beside the horrible dreams that I  had, like  I wrote in my posting titled “Welcome  to my nightmare” I also had sweet dreams several times. Usually I dreamed  it when I sleep normally with my man clothing. I sleep well and tight when my sweet dream occured and the next morning I usually woke up with fresh. The dreams looked like almost similar. A very attractive and sexy girl with beautiful body and face suddenly came to me. I didn’t know who she was. She tried to seduce me. She held and caressed me for a very short while. Then suddenly she went away. I didn’t know what to do from her arrival until she was gone. I could only keep silent, confused, stunned, amazed and tense but glad.

Those dreams  happened at least 3 times. Is it  a sign that I am a sissy?  Not dare to begin an intimate relationship with woman except  keep waiting ? I don’t know. Until now I still curious about that dreams. I have a hope that it will happen to me in the real world. But in reality, it becomes the other way around. I become that girl at least in the virtual world. Attracting others with the gender of my own or my opposite gender.

Welcome to my nightmare

Until several months ago when my desire to do crossdressing is stronger than now I usually couldn’t sleep at night before holiday. Then I usually did crossdressing  from night until dawn. I even sleep with woman dress. I did it very often. Sometimes when I sleep with woman dress, I dreamed. It happened several times. The dreams although varied but almost the same. Then usually I woke up with nervous. Of course I couldn’t sleep well and I was so tired the next day. The dreams are like this.

I dreamed I was laying in my bed with woman dress  and I covered my body with blanket to cover my crossdressing but still I  get caught by my sister. In my dream she opened my blanket  a little bit and peered into it. Then she said “sissy !”. I was surprised,  scared and of course felt ashamed in my dream. Then I woke up with nervous.

In another dream looked like I was fully crossdressing, but suddenly my family came and about to enter my house. I felt like almost being caught by them.

In another dream looked like I was crossdressing in my bedroom, but suddenly my relative wanted to enter my bedroom.

Sometimes I masturbated in my dreams too when I sleep with woman dress.

But recently I never dream like that again and I usually can sleep at night before holiday. I think it is maybe my desire to do crossdressing is not as strong as before.