If in my earlier posting I discussed about an ending that can be met in crossdressing habit and also the development of this habit. So in this article I want to discuss what we are going to say if someone who does crossdressing ask us an advice about how should someone do about this habit ?
First, if someone ( he ) asks us an advice about something usually he wants to get an opinion that can solve his problem or to get a better way about something that he asks. So did with crossdressing habit that he asks us. Here, the problem begins. Problem of what advice should we give to him. Because there’s more than one alternative advice that we can give him.
The first case, a young crossdresser asks us an advice about crossdressing. He’s a beginner crossdresser. He crossdress only with wearing woman dress. Not using woman shoes, accessories, makeup and wig. What advice should we give to him ? Push and support him to do crossdressing more perfectly ? Suggest him to use woman shoes, accessories, makeup and wig ? Because by that way, he may look so perfectly as a woman or at least more perfect. Moreover, he already crossdressed. Even he’s just a beginner. So, what else ? Already get wet, why don’t bathe too ? That is what we may suggest if we consider crossdressing as a positive hobby and not a deviant behaviour that needs to be corrected.
But if we consider crossdressing as a deviant behaviour, maybe we may give him different advice. Such as divert your energy into other positive activities and so with your spare time, instead of doing crossdressing. If he is someone who believes, maybe we also remind him to approach himself to God. This advice looks like more difficult to be said and to be given than the first advice like at the earlier paragraph. Because he can say that we are hypocrite. Advise the other to decrease or leave this habit, but we ourselves do this habit too. Though we all know that nobody in the world is perfect. In Java, we say “Gajah diblangkoni. Iso kotbah, orak iso nglakoni”. In English, it means “Elephant is given headcloth. Can preach, but can not do it”.
More difficult case is if he is someone who is an activist of a religion, but he still does crossdressing. And according to him and the religion in his understanding, crossdressing does not conflict with his beliefs. But he asks us an advice about his crossdressing habit. What advice that we can give ? Moreover if he is an activist of a religion and if in this case, we are less obeyed in religion than him. This situation is similar to a Javanese proverb that says “kebo nusu gudel”. In English, it means “buffalo breast fed from its child”.